Chapter 1

“I could never fall asleep on a motorcycle.”

Heard that a thousand times. Well, guess what? BONK! Somebody’s helmet keeps getting stuck in my armpit.

Easy fix. Turn right. Oops! This bright yellow helmet just keeps rolling back and forth while I swerve around the road.  Can’t stop laughing.

While I’m laughing, I almost drive off the road! Better keep watching the road.

Chapter 2

“Let’s go for lunch.”

I stop at a roadside diner.

Hey! it’s the make fun of the gringo day! let’s have a jalapeno eating contest……. They’re not that hot at home……

Holy cow! guess what they are a lot hotter here!

After earning the respect of the locals having lunch, we also get involved in a tortilla eating contest as the lady just keeps making more and bringing more.

Is this some kind of ritual? How do we stop? What do we say? Finally ‘no mas‘ and we can continue on our way. All for the low low price of $3.50 for the  three of us.

Chapter 3

“Lets drive Franco to the BMW dealer so he can get all that expensive stuff fixed!!”

The Ural creates a sensation. A crowd gathers, the service techs gather, the locals gather, the staff gather…….. Poor Franco, no one wants to help him out because they all want to see the Ural instead.

Finally he gets the attention of a manager who books him in and starts the process.

“Hey! it’s time to change the oil on the Ural, can I borrow a drip pan, I’m much to cheap to pay for you to do it.” “Sure, here you go.” So I ask him where I should park out back. “Out back?? No,no,no. Please do the oil change right here on our fancy cobblestone floor in front of everyone”.

So I begin my first adventure in what feels like reality TV – ‘Celebrity oil changing’ .

Chapter 4

“Let’s go to Oaxaca.”

Oh, the best way to get there is through Mexico city – the largest city in the world. Sounds like fun.

“Holy cow! Look at the boobs on that…guy? Did you get a picture Tracey?”

Apparently it is ‘Boob Appreciation Day’ in Mexico City and the streets are filled with guys wearing frilly bras and other assorted lingerie.  Unfortunately, Tracey did not get a picture.

“Oaxaca!” We stayed in an ‘auto hotel’, famous for their by-the-hour rentals and private carports where guests can secretly retreat with a mistress for a few scandalous hours.

Tracey can tell you about the ruins, I’m gonna tell you about the locals who must start drinking mezcal pretty early in the morning.

So we are pootling along and looking for a bite to eat. “Hey look! a roadside stand with an ambulance out front! Let’s go!”

We join a table alongside the ambulance driver, the nurse, and the patient (complete with IV bag and stand). It’s gotta’ be good if they are stopping on the way to the hospital!

We don’t have a clue what anyone is saying, but we are apparently the funniest thing they have seen for a long time. The chicken soup is great, the blue corn quesadilla is great. They happily place one of our stickers on the roadside stand and hop on the Ural for pictures. These two women who are serving us are laughing so hard that they are falling down everywhere. They attract the attention of another women wandering past and she hops in on the fun. Soon she is out laughing uncontrollably as well. They are eventually joined by more hip (not the replacement but the style) elderly couple and the party is on.

Soon we have to leave. But we continue to laugh all day. We have no idea what anyone was laughing about, including ourselves. But we laugh anyway.

Miles